It Feels Like There's Oceans (Between You and Me)
by MidnightRavenFromTheClock
Summary: The Hargreeves siblings go back in time to fix Vanya, and Klaus slips through the cracks of their new, better family. And in the world where Vanya doesn't bring the apocalypse, Klaus does.


**I'm back with another fic for this amazing fandom! This one is a bit different, and I sort of wrote it last night instead of sleeping so I really hope it makes sense.**

'_It feels like there's oceans,_

_between me and you once again._

_We hide our emotions,_

_under the surface and tryin' to pretend._

_But it feels like there's oceans,_

_between you and me.'_

They go back in time to do better. At first there's crying and screaming and Vanya refuses to meet any of their eyes. She tries to call up her power and panics when nothing happens.

"Vanya, Vanya, it's okay." Allison tries to reach their sister and Vanya panics even more. Scrambling backwards and staring in horror at where Allison's wound used to be. The rest of them, even Luther stay back as Allison coaxes Vanya into breathing.

To their surprise, Five is the one to step forward. "We'll fix it." He says, a hint of softness that has them all staring in shock.

"We'll do better," Allison promises, "we'll _all_ do better."

Vanya nods timidly, before her eyes latch on to something at Klaus's right, and Klaus realizes that _holy shit_ he's not the only one seeing Ben.

"Oh my god." Allison breathes, and Diego pulls Ben into a hug. Ben is hesitant, blinking with surprise and then hugging Diego back with just as much force and grinning at Klaus widely over Diego's back.

So, they go back to their childhood home and do better. The first weeks are a mixture of determination and surreal happiness. They huddle together in the evenings, ease Vanya off the pills without dad knowing and start constructing plans on how to prevent Ben's death even though the event is years away. Allison stops using her powers, they go on missions and make sure Ben never has to be the one to finish the job. Even Luther eases down, stars listening and asking for opinions and they gang up on dad when he tries leaving Vanya out of the family portrait.

Klaus watches this with his breath held tight, waiting for the shoe to drop because he's seen this all before – this illusion of a family falling apart under his feet. And it's months of watching his family scrambling to come back together - Vanya's less and less timid smiles, Ben's bright eyes as he spends hours at a time talking to their siblings, that Klaus begins to see – there's no space for someone like him in this new, better family. He sees it in their dismissive waves as he's left on guard duty during missions, the way they huff with annoyance when he blurts out shit in their designated 'family time' and the disappointed '_Klaus will be Klaus_' when his hands won't stop shaking and they assume he's managed to take something. They do try, in the beginning they do regular house sweeps of drugs and Ben stays with him during the nights (they talk until 3 AM and it feels so much like before Klaus has to keep his hands wrapped around Ben's to make sure he's really alive).

But none of them understand how the dead keep screaming and screaming, no more constant Ben to talk him through it. They assume now that his body's not yet addicted he can start over just like them. Well Ben understands, and he tries and tries but Ben also has bigger issues to deal with, like unexpectedly coming back to life.

And then dad drags Klaus to the mausoleum in the middle of the night, and Klaus comes back with cuts and bruises (he hasn't entertained the idea of just what his new range of abilities means, but now he's forced to and _oh god_ they can _touch him_). He stumbles through the front door the next day and realizes no one even noticed him gone. He almost says something, but it's done now so what's the use in bringing it up?

The dead come for Klaus that night and he goes to Ben's room to see him huddled up with Vanya, sleeping peacefully after hours of talking, so he sneaks out and gets his first hit of weed since coming back to the past, and sleeps peacefully through the night. It's almost okay until he comes down the next morning to those disappointed and disgusted looks.

"What were you thinking?" Luther exclaims. "We're here to do things differently, and you throw it away."

"You know we have to be here for Vanya." Allison adds.

Vanya in turn is silent, observing the exchange with a frown.

"If you can't pull yourself together-" Luther yells, cutting off when Vanya flinches.

"What?" Klaus gestures widely. "Don't leave us hanging, Luther."

"Luther." Ben says in warning.

"Nothing." He murmurs. "Forget it. Do what you want."

Ben steps closer. "Luther, maybe-"

Klaus huffs and walks away, he's sure it's what they want anyway.

"Klaus!" Ben runs to catch up. "Hey, talk to me."

He sighs. "I needed to sleep."

"You should have come to me." Ben says, looking quite helpless. Perhaps Klaus isn't the only one thinking about how different it is to not be tied together.

"You were busy." He shrugs.

Ben frowns. "You should have come anyway. Promise me you'll come next time."

Klaus nods and he means it, so two months later when dad locks him in the mausoleum a second time, he drags himself back up after and goes to find Ben. Only Ben is out at the movies with Vanya and Diego, Luther says, and they're supposed to go to the beach after. Klaus is so _happy_ for Ben - experiencing being alive gainst all odds with the siblings he's spent years secluded from, but he wants to cry.

He plasters on a smile for Luther, silently calls himself a selfish bastard and goes to get high. It's midnight when Ben comes home laughing and sees Klaus high out of his mind, curled up by Ben's door.

"Klaus." He goes to shake him.

"Experiencing life at its finest." Klaus grins sluggishly. "Maybe I should bring you to a rave, that'd be an _experience_."

"How much did you take?"

"_Soo_ much." Klaus laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world.

"Jesus, Klaus. What were you thinking?"

Klaus latches on to Ben's frantic arms. "I wanted to see you."

"I'm here."

"No," He shakes his head. "I wanted to see you _before_."

"I was-"

"But you didn't show up, _why didn't you show up_, Ben?"

Ben stares, unblinking. "I'm alive, Klaus."

Klaus laughs, even as his fingers dig into Ben's arms. "Don't you think I _know_ that? The ghosts- I know you're not a ghost anymore, I _know_-" He trembles, and it's not funny anymore so he leans closer, and he thinks that might be a mistake because now surely Ben can see how his eyes fill with tears. "_I know_ you're alive." He whispers. It doesn't feel like what he wants to say, but it's all his drugged brain can manage.

"You wish I wasn't?" Ben whispers, tensing and staring at Klaus with barely concealed sorrow.

He shakes his head frantically. That doesn't sound right at all. "I-" but oh good he needs Ben, doesn't know who he is without him, not after all those years. And because he's high and miserable and fucking selfish, he echoes - "I wish you weren't."

Ben falls back from Klaus's grasp. He opens his mouth then closes it and then stands up. "I'll get mom." He says.

"Ben?" Klaus calls quietly, watching his brother walk away. With a sudden jolt he's sober enough to realize it's the worst feeling ever, because no matter what messed up things Klaus has said or done Ben has never, _ever_ walked away before.

Later, Klaus swears over and over that he's _sorry_ and he _didn't mean it._

"I'm just tired." Ben replies, looking the part as he stares at Klaus.

And Ben never quite looks at him the same way again, so eventually Klaus stops saying it. He figures after everything Ben doesn't deserve to have to deal with Klaus's messes.

He turns back to drugs after that, and his siblings stop including him in family bonding time. He supposes that's fair as well, they have their 'doing better for Vanya' thing going on, his sister does deserve the attention.

It isn't until he's seventeen (again) and contemplating running away (again) that dad pulls him aside, thoughtful expression on his face. "Number Four," He says and Klaus braces for the mausoleum. "I think it's time we explored your true potential."

That night he sweats the drugs out of his system, curled up in the corner of Vanya's old cell, wishing he'd ran when he had the chance. It's not the mausoleum, but it's dark and cold and there's nothing for company but the dead. He doesn't know what dad wants with him, the bastard only said he'd need to get sober before he could be useful, it's even more bizarre because this never happened in the first timeline. He thinks maybe because dad can feel his control slipping with the others, he's trying to dig his claws into Klaus more.

Either way, there's no way no one will notice he's gone so long. Ben will come, no matter how much they've fallen apart there's just no way Ben won't care. "He'll come." Klaus says to the ghosts, there are five with him in the cell.

It's days later that dad deems him sober enough. "I know you must hate my drastic measures," His father says sitting on the edge of his bed. "but everything I do, I do for you children. It is of utmost importance that you unlock your full range of abilities. You especially, number Four."

_Then how do you explain Vanya_, he almost asks. But he's not about to screw this up for his sister, not when she's been doing so well.

"The whole pesky touching the ghosts thing seems pretty useless to me." Klaus retorts.

"_Touching_ the ghosts? You are capable of so much more and you don't even realize it."

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you."

Dad sighs. "I'm sorry you see it that way. This world needs you," He pulls out a syringe. "I did hope you would find your own way."

Klaus stares at the enormous syringe filled with a strange blue liquid, so unlike any drug he'd seen before. "You're _giving_ me drugs now?"

"I did imagine you'd like this part."

"Well-"

"It's a special creation of my own making. This will jump start your powers, I can only hope it can undo the damage you've caused with the drugs."

"_What?_ Dad-"

Too late. He winces as dad sticks the needle into his arm. The effect is instant - a strange buzzing sets in his veins, the world tilts and then he's being guided to the bed. It's so different and _terrifying_ but also disorienting enough he can't hold on to the fear. "Dad…" He whines.

"You will feel better soon enough, number Four. Then you will thank me."

"No, no, don't-" He wheezes. "Don't _go_." It was too much, he'll die and no one will even know and the ghosts aren't disappearing, they're _surrounding_ the bed.

He thinks dad leaves, he's too out of it to tell. "Ben." Klaus breathes, hoping, praying that by some miracle his brother will materialize once again.

He doesn't.

* * *

Klaus screams through the night, and the next one and when he finally gets back to himself dad is there with a new syringe. "Where's Ben?" He croaks while his mind is clear enough.

His father pauses. "Number Six, as well as the rest of your siblings have been informed that you've checked into a rehab facility."

Klaus whines, trying to pull his arm back.

"It's better this way, trust me."

Despite the burning in his body and the dead disintegrating then coming back around him, Klaus snickers. "_Bastard_." He says under his breath. He must really look pathetic, because dad doesn't even scowl.

Then the world turns to liquid and bleeds away around Klaus's bed.

He's in Vietnam, the forest a fresh breath of air he can't quite manage to fill his lungs with.

"There you are." Dave smiles like there's no war, no flying bullets, only Klaus.

Klaus melts. This isn't so bad. "I've missed you." He says, reaching but Dave is gone before Klaus can make contact.

He cries out and then he's curled up in the street, cold and hungry and alone. But wait, Ben is here.

"I'm quite a sight, huh?" Klaus says. His mind is screaming - _please stay, don't leave me again not now._

Ben kneels by his side. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

"What happened to us, Klaus?"

Klaus shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about that."

"You never do. Maybe that's why I left you behind?" Ben turns his head, it's so un-Ben like Klaus almost chokes.

"You left because you were alive, you had to _live_."

Ben smiles sympathetically. "Without you."

"I don't blame you." Klaus says because it's true. It's not Ben's fault he's an epic failure.

"You do."

"No, _no_."

"You _should_." Ben-not-Ben says. Is it Ben? How can Klaus not know? But he doesn't ask, because then Ben might leave again and he can't handle that.

Ben strokes Klaus's hair and Klaus _feels it_. "It's my fault you're here. I spent years promising to always be there and then left the first chance I had." He laughs terribly, cruelly. "I let this happen to you, Klaus."

"_Stop_."

"Why? It's the truth."

"It's not, you didn't- you didn't know. But you care, you always cared."

Ben smiles at that, for a moment Klaus thinks it's in agreement. Then he leans closer. "I lied."

"Why are you saying those things?" Not-Ben it can't be Ben, yet-

"Because you need to know them. You need to let go of me like I Iet go of you, otherwise you'll be stuck in that hole _forever_."

Desperately, Klaus finds the strength to cover his ears. "Please, stop."

"Let go, Klaus."

"No, you said-"

"You hate me."

"Stop!"

"Look at me, Klaus." Ben holds his chin to meet his eyes. "Look at me, you _hate me_."

"I-"

Not-Ben twists and suddenly it's not Ben at all but a stranger, bloodied and distorted. Klaus struggles to get away, but the hand on his chin keeps him in place.

"Let go." The ghost demands in Ben's voice.

Klaus jerks, struggles and falls out of bed. He groans, the sharp pain in his forehead bringing him back to awareness for the first time in… he doesn't know how long.

He rubs his head and then startles when his hand comes away with blood.

"It's okay." Dave is there, on the ground in front of him.

_Oh_, maybe he's not awake after all.

Dave gently takes his hand and suddenly Klaus's palms are glowing blue. "Look." He says and the air ripples, the lights outside the room flicker and then Klaus touches his head and there's no wound.

He thinks to question it, but blinks and the desire is gone. Dave smiles, sweetly and then it twists into something harder, something Klaus can't even try bringing his head around.

"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." Dave reassures, still smiling.

Klaus smiles back.

* * *

When dad comes back and sees Klaus standing in the middle of the room, blue light surrounding his fists, he nods and let's Klaus out with a mumbled '_well done, number Four_'.

The next morning he's met with six pairs of very surprised eyes.

"Number Four has done exceptionally well at the rehabilitation facility. You will be pleased to know he is no longer reliant on drugs." Dad explains, then rushes the siblings to eat before they can ask any questions.

They approach him after. "Hey Klaus, welcome back." Luther says.

"How do you feel?" Vanya asks.

"Oh." Klaus blinks at them. "I'm great."

"If you need any help staying clean…" Diego says, looking Klaus over as if searching for something.

"I'm great." Klaus repeats, then calmly looks over at the woman screaming in Five's face. A victim of his.

"It's not fair," She's crying. "I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong…"

"It's okay." He tells her.

"Klaus?" Diego frowns.

"Emily Belington, you killed her in 1872, she was a teacher." He tells Five, who winces so carefully Klaus almost misses it. "She wants you to die." He translates.

Five opens his mouth, pauses and portals away.

"_Jesus_ Klaus, be a little more sensible." Luther says and Allison hits his shoulder.

"What? I-"

"We should go work on Vanya's powers." She says too loudly, then grabs Luther's arm and drags him away, throwing Ben a pointed look over her shoulder.

"I guess I'll go." Vanya says hesitantly. "I'm uh- I'm glad you're home Klaus."

"Okay, talk." Diego says when it's just them and Ben.

"About what?"

"Did something happen?" Ben interjects.

"No. I'm gr-"

"Yeah, you're great, we got that already." Diego says. "You need to talk to us, Klaus."

Klaus glances at Dave, wrapped around Klaus's chair and glaring daggers at Ben and Diego. "_Now_ they pretend to care." Dave says. "I'm tired, I'll head to bed. _Tell them._"

Klaus echoes Dave's words, then stands up and follows him back to their room.

* * *

Ben catches him in the hallway the next day. "Hey, can we talk?"

Dave growls with annoyance.

"Why?" Klaus asks.

"What happened at rehab? If something's wrong-"

"Why would something be wrong? What do you _want_ form me?" Klaus snaps and they both blink, taken aback. Klaus glances at Dave, had those been his own words?

"I want to _help you_." Ben says slowly, softly. "Please, tell me what's going on."

"I- I don't-" Klaus swallows. He doesn't know. He thinks about voices and blood and strange syringes.

"_It's okay_." Dave is whispering in his ear. "Trust me. _Let go_."

"Klaus?" Ben reaches.

Klaus quickly steps back, repeating Dave's words. "Be more concerned with your own problems. I know it's difficult to accept, but I don't need you anymore. So, leave me alone."

He leaves Ben in the hallway and goes to train with dad. He likes the training now, he gets to talk to spirits and summon new ones and he gets better at it each time.

Once, a few weeks later, dad brings a living kitten and tells Klaus to do his thing.

"Do what?" Klaus asks, confused.

"Concentrate, number Four." Dad demands.

Dave steps up. "I'll show you." He says and takes Klaus's hand and places it on the kitten and then they're glowing blue. Klaus feels the buzzing in his veins again, the energy, the life inside the little creature and then death all around them. Suddenly the kitten twitches and falls under Klaus's touch and there's nothing but death.

Klaus goes back to his room and vomits and then he lets Dave soothe him until he falls into uneasy sleep.

* * *

Dad gives him more injections, but they never make him sick like those first times, at least not physically. With each one he feels stronger, but also like something alive inside of him dies piece by piece, just like that kitten under his touch. Klaus grows aware of death like it's something tangible, feels it hanging around people and animals and plants. He feels it strongly on Ben, who has somehow slipped through its grasp, the _injustice_. And yet Klaus shivers at the thought – wondering when he lost himself. Maybe, he muses, he's already dead.

As time passes Klaus grows stronger, until one day he manifests the dead during training, leaving Allison so shocked he beats her with a single kick.

"What the hell?" Luther yells shoving Klaus away. "What's _wrong _with you?"

"Back off, it's training." Ben tries (why does he still try?).

Klaus growls. He thinks about death and how thin its veil with the world is, feels it bending to his will-

"Klaus?"

"Number Four!"

How easy it is to switch life with death, and then the life could be taken someplace else, to _someone_ else-

"Klaus!" He's being shaken. Klaus blinks, sees Ben's frantic eyes in front of him and _oh, _Luther is choking on the ground.

"Unfortunate." Dave says as Luther gasps, slowly sitting up.

"Number Four." Dad calls from the doorway, frowning. "I'd like to see you in my office."

* * *

Dad is as hesitant as Klaus has ever seen him. He mumbles about how well 'Number Four' has progressed and suggests a break. _Perhaps he'd like to spend more quality time with Number Six? He's earned a few days off, after all._

Eventually dad waves him away. "You can go, Klaus."

And Klaus freezes. "Did you just-"

But dad gives him a look, and Dave gently touches his arm and guides him out of the office.

And that's how Klaus knows dad is uncertain about him, just like he once was about Vanya.

He spends the night pacing his room with Dave.

"What if he's building a new cell?" Klaus asks.

"I'm sure the old one would do."

Klaus glares. "This is serious."

Dave sighs. "It's really not. We're stronger than him, we're stronger than everyone. If they try to stop us, _well_." He shrugs.

Klaus gulps, what is Dave saying? No, what- no. His skin is buzzing.

"I've been thinking," Dave says sweetly. "what if we could be together, for real. What if we got rid of a problem and turned it into a strength?"

"Dave…"

"_Think about it, _think about how happy we could be. I didn't deserve to die, don't you want me to live, with you?"

"_Of course_, I want that. More than anything."

"Then do something about it. _Death creates life_."

Klaus frowns, it makes sense, but something feels so very, horribly _wrong_. "I can't hurt dad."

"He's hurt us. What gave him the right then? Besides, now that he's seen what we can do, it's only a matter of time before he turns us into the _new Vanya_."

* * *

They walk down the hallway, twisting the pleasant blue energy around their knuckles.

"Klaus?" Comes Allison's surprised voice as they walk past her ajar door. They glance inside and see their siblings, all except Five huddled around the bed.

They keep walking, there's a different destination in mind tonight.

"Hey, Klaus. W-w- why don't you join us?" Diego stops them, running to catch up.

"Where are you going in the middle of the night, anyway?" Comes Luther's voice.

"Just a walk." They reply calmly. "It's fine."

"Klaus, you know we're all worried about you." Ben says gently. "Why don't we spend some time together? Like before?"

They laugh. "Before. Before _what_?"

"He doesn't look right." Vanya whispers.

"I suppose you would know, _sister_?" They snap.

Ben steps in front of Vanya and they think about that irritating cheated death thing hanging around number Six, and then-

A blinding light makes them lose the focus, as a portal opens and Five falls out, coughing and breathing heavily.

"_Five_?" Vanya cries crouching beside him.

Five looks around almost frantically, before his eyes land on Klaus. He stands up, brushing off invisible dust and approaches, stopping just short of them and staring at their eyes.

"Uh, Five? Care to explain?" Luther grumbles.

"Did you just _time travel_?" Vanya asks.

Five doesn't take his calculating gaze off Klaus. "I need you to focus on me, Klaus. Forget… _whatever_ you were doing just now, it's a bad decision. Very, very bad decision…"

"What are you talking about, Five?" Luther asks.

"That's completely irrelevant." Five waves him off. "Tell me this, what did you love about Dave?"

They blink, confused. "He was… he… _what_?"

"He was kind," Diego says suddenly. "and strong and vulnerable, and-"

"_Beautiful_." Klaus breathes.

"Yeah, that." Five nods enthusiastically. "_This_ isn't Dave."

"Liar." Dave snarls beside him.

Klaus looks between him and Five. "How did you..."

"That's also very irrelevant and we don't have much time. I'm right aren't I?"

Klaus tries to remember Dave's smile as they danced, the light shining in his eyes. The kindness. It's almost too much, but Klaus thinks he manages to nod.

"Focus Klaus, look at me. He's a trick, don't listen to him. _Okay_?" Five pauses and turns to the rest of their siblings. "We're going back again."

There's a sudden outrage of _wait_ and _what_, even Klaus gasping, a 'no way' hanging on his tongue.

"We screwed up, the world ended-"

"_Again?_" Luther exclaims.

"I didn't- I-" Vanya says looking at them uncertainly.

"No, no. Not you, you're okay." Five soothes her.

"Well, when does this happen?" Luther asks.

"What part of '_no time_', didn't you understand? Look, I'm from four months in the future, the world ends again, and I calculated that the highest possibility of fixing it is by coming back to _this moment_ and taking us all back to the start again."

"So, you just left future us to die?" Diego mumbles.

"Jesus people." Five throws his hands in the air and it's so dramatic Klaus might laugh, if he wasn't so confused. "Are you coming or not?"

"If it's the only way to stop the apocalypse…" Vanya says slowly, looking around at them. The others grumble but nod, none of them are thrilled at the idea of starting over again.

"But we did everything right." Luther says.

"We didn't." Ben mumbles and he's staring at Klaus.

Five turns his attention to Klaus as well, his voice suddenly growing gentle. "What about you, Klaus?"

Dave is yelling, but for some reason Klaus can't hear him that well. He takes Five's advice and tries to focus on the moment. Can he go through all this again? And for what?

"It's a do-over, we'll start again like we did with Vanya. We'll do things differently." Five urges carefully. "You'll feel better when we get back."

"I'm fine." He says automatically.

"Then you'll be even _better_. Please, Klaus." Vanya asks, and something about it being Vanya who probably stands the most to lose breaks through his resolve.

"Okay." He says numbly.

Five sighs with relief, then sets his shoulders with new resolve. Vanya takes one of Klaus's hands and Ben grabs the other and _this_, falling back into the team in the face of certain death is so familiar he doesn't even hear Dave's screaming in his ear.

The wind picks up with the portal, he screams.

* * *

They land in the same field as last time, nauseous and disoriented. Klaus groans, wondering what the hell he took last night. He turns to his back and there's Five, leaning over him with a critical gaze.

"What?" He groans.

"How do you feel?"

"Huh?" He sits up slowly and waits for the world to stop spinning, but it doesn't. What happened? The portal, _holy shit_ he's thirteen again, for the third time. "I'm thirteen." He says out loud, staring at Five groggily.

"Yes, but how do you _feel_? Is he here?"

"He?"

"It worked." Diego says to their side, sounding both happy and horrified.

"I-" The vertigo hits Klaus and he curls back up on the grass. Jesus, what was he thinking? What did he do? What-

"Klaus… Klaus!" Ben calls, sounding miles away.

Klaus wants to say he's okay, only he can't remember what _okay_ feels like.

So in the end, they go back to the past and this time Vanya isn't the one hyperventilating, Klaus is.

He thinks he hears Five fall to his back somewhere beside him, mumbling about getting things right this time. "I swear to god I'm not doing this a _fourth time.._."

Klaus passes out.

**Thank you for reading! I have only a bit of part 2 written, when I post it depends entirely on the muse. Basically this one was all angst and everyone screwing up (I can't believe I broke Klaus and Ben :'( ...). Part 2 is supposed to be more the comfort part of the equation, the siblings finally getting things right, mostly focusing on Klaus and Ben since those two are my favourite, but I'm trying to include everyone.**


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